The Cat's Meow
by Stinky Toe Nail
Summary: This is really funny. Read it. Rated Pg-13 for Hiei's language


~ The Cat's Meow ~  
  
By: Stinky Toe Nail  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own YYH.  
  
Chapter 1 ~ Hiei's Big Day ~  
  
One day as Hiei got ready for a date. He stared in the mirror. The mirror stared at him. Wow I am sexy. Hiei snaps his fingers. As he quickly hops in the shower. Taking his clothes off. He cleans his armpits, hair, legs, arms, back and lower body. He scrubs. Soon enough he was drying himself off with a towel. Dancing in excitement. He dry' s his hair, and body. Then he runs down stairs. Oops he remembered. I have no clothes on. He walks back to his room putting his tuxedo on.  
  
He then again quickly glances at the mirror again. Thinking to his sexy self. Oh my gosh my butts big. Ahhhhh he screams. He snaps back into reality. Quickly feeling his butt. Its small. Good. Hn. That scared the Hn out of me. As he ran down stairs. A shadow followed. He hears whispers. Don't walk down the alley. Hn that voice. It thinks it shall fool me. Hn. As he quickly smelt cold blood.  
  
He followed blood noticing it led to a cat. He stared and stared. The cat just stared. The cat's eyes shoot blood red. Hiei still stared. Hn. Strange. The cat still staring at Hiei. You stupid cat. What the fuck are u looking at. He kicks his foot at it. Hn. It's pretty fast for a cat. Hiei couldn't catch. It was if it was disappearing. He followed the cat. Through the dark alleys. Hn. Where is this cat going? Hn. As he continued to see it. He walked into a door. As the cat led him to. On the bed was a lady.  
  
Hiei stared. Wow sexy momma! Hiei yelped. Come here handsome. As he walked over to the lady. He tripped over the cat's foot. As the cat quickly jumped in thin air. Hiei stared looking up and down. As he saw his self walking away. Hn. Where ya going shrimp. As he realizes he is a foot tall. Get back here. He noticed he was a cat. As the imposter Hiei ran out front door. The cat Hiei meowed. No body knowing what he was saying. As the lady on the bed left. He stared rather amused.  
  
As the cat saw the imposter Hiei walk the dark streets. The cat followed. People staring. That cat has hair like that man ahead. As people stared. The cat still behind followed. People throwing stuff at him. Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow. Translation: You fuckes will all die . You stupid moose fuckers. As the people stared. Hiei the cat attacked. Scratching people. Biting. Then laughing. As he thought maybe Kurama well know its me in his head he thought.  
  
As the cat ran down the streets. Passing many things. He ran as fast as he could. He walked into the room where Kurama and exc. would be. As he sees the imposter Hiei. He hides. He listens. Hey guys yo yo what the dilio. What's wrong with u. Kurama said. Nothing. Well there is a cat. If u see him. Ignore him. He is fucked up. Ah x_x everybody faints. Kuwabara freaked. As they agree not to relate to this cat. The cat walked up to Kurama. Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow ma Meow. Translation: A rather fucked up cat. Tricked me into switching bodies with me. As Kurama looked. As he is so cute. I shall name him. Haku he said smiling. Kuwabara looked at the wee cat. He smiled.  
  
Hey guys this cat looks like Hiei. Yusuke agreed. Meow Meow Meow. Translation: Yes Yes Yes. Could it be Hiei? Kurama added. Meow Meow Meow. Translation: This is Hiei. Everybody stared and laughed. As the cat scratched Kuwabara. Kuwabara knocked out. X_X. Nah it aint Hiei. Yusuke added. Meow Meow Meow. Translation: Those stupid fools. Everybody stared. As they took Haku {Hiei} to the pet store for supplies. They bought him. Everything needed. Kurama felt splendid. Haku {Hiei] Those are some sad fools. He thought this in his mind. Haku, little pussy cat. Kuwabara said. Haku {Hiei} scratched Kuwabara. Everybody laughed. Even the cat. Everybody stopped. Hn Haku said. He said a word. Kuwabara said. You are lying Kuwabara. Cats can't talk. Everybody laughed. As the cat said Hn again. Kuwabara heard.  
  
Hey maybe I am the only one that can here him. Kuwabara laughed. Mr. Haku Cat Sir. Can u hear me? Yes indeed I can. What yes. Who are u and how can u talk. I am Hiei. Hn. U are Hiei. U liar. Bad cat. I saw Hiei. That is the imposter Hiei. Hn. Okay. Kuwabara giggled. Hugging the cat. As he said another thing to the cat. Ahh Mr. Cat. U still can hear me. Meow. Translation: NO! Ahhhhh. As everybody stared. Everybody laughed. Yusuke came over. Hi stupid Cat Sir. Talk to me. Meow he said. Translation: No. Stupid cat fucker sir Haku. Yusuke kicked the cat. Yusuke laughed. The cat got up. Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow. Translation: I am going to take your life FOOL!  
  
As Yusuke laughed. The cat looked. And stood on to feet. Punched his hands together. Oh crap the psycho bitch cat is after me. Yusuke yelped. Help!!!!!! The cat walked forward. Yusuke ran. Haku or Hiei cornered him. Yusuke screamed. Nooooooo. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ A/N: Well I hope u enjoyed it. It was weird. Well I hope u got some laughs out of it. Please Read and Review. No flames please. Next Time: the killing cat machine thrashes Yusuke. Hiei the imposter gets hyper. Kuwabara talks to the cat again.  
  
A/N: Next chapter sounds boring. Huh. Well it will be good. I promise. Please read and review this chapter/ Thanks. 


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